Have you ever found yourself in a place of guilt as a parent? Questioning your parenting skills and abilities? Feeling powerless especially when it comes to controlling the things said and done by your child when he or she is angry?
I understand how tough this can be for you as a parent but also want you to know it’s not easy for the child too. Because being a child at this stage, we parents [or adults in general] do not know for sure what’s going on in their peculiar minds. We can only imagine, not knowing that the child is at this micro stage of learning to understand and verbalize his or her feelings.
If we are being honest, you will agree that some adults struggle with this too. Now, imagine how tough it can be on a child. Be sure to try these 5 best anger management tips. I hope they help!
- Make them Understand Their Emotions
The first step to managing anger is to understand different emotions. Just like you, the child is struggling to understand what is going on. Over the years, I learned that putting a tag on it goes a long way to help children understand their emotions. Make them learn the difference between being sad, happy, scared, and angry. You can use illustrations or pictures. Whatever works. Do well to also use these labels until they get familiar with the words and relating emotions.
- Remember the Child is Not The Problem
I continuously emphasize the importance of the words parents use with kids. The way you make a child feel and the words they hear you say can impact them on many different levels than you can think of.
For effective anger management, you ought to differentiate the problem and the person. Your child is not the problem. Anger is. You must know this. And you should help your child know this too.
- Encourage Them to Let it out!
The Frozen song says “Let it Go,” I say “Let it Out.” Shushing your child every time they get angry is not the way to go. You do not manage a problem by stuffing it in. Not even an adult can manage anger in such an unhealthy way. Why put your child through that torment.
Allow them to express themselves. Anger is a feeling with no age limit. If a child is angry, encourage them to express it in a healthy way. Don’t shush him. He deserves to be heard too!
- Apply an Emotion Thermometer
A thermometer is a regular measurement too in many households. You can employ the thermometer calibration to help your child better understand their emotions. You do not have to get a real thermometer. Simply create a calibrated scale with increasing levels. Make your child indicate the different stages of anger as he or she is having a meltdown. Also, talk to them about it afterward. Make them explain what happens at the different levels of the meltdown using a friendly thermometer. This way, you will be able to fully comprehend the issue. Consequently, you can tell the right solution to the problem.
- Show Them the Consequences
To spare your kids of the consequences of their actions is to encourage them in those actions. Discipline is instilled in several ways. One of the most effective ways revolves around teaching the consequences of one’s actions – adults and kids alike. Help your kids understand that there is a consequence for every action. And see it through. You can practice this with adults too.
- Don’t Give In
Since you stayed till the end, here is a tip from one parent to another: Don’t give in. Children are very sensitive. They read your emotions, energy, and responses. I like to believe they study adults much more than we pay attention to them.
This can be both positive and negative. Should a child understand that throwing tantrums gets you every time, that becomes the default way to get your attention or get you to give in to their request.
Instead, help them calm down in a healthy way. Teach them these healthy ways to manage anger and make sure they follow through.
Trust me these tips work. You should totally give this a try!
For more tips, check out our next article on Calming Phrases to Promote Child Anger Management.